Rants: On getting old and marriage.

Exactly one year from now, I'll be finishing my last couple of months of University. I'll be done. How do I feel? Scared Shit-less! Also I can't decide what to do with my life after that, should I continue on to Masters, or should I work? Either way, I'm staying here. At least, till my brother is done, so that'll give me, umm 5 years? Yeah, that'll be enough I'd think.

Lately, I've been playing this game with my mom whenever we talk, where I'd say: "oh guess who got engaged?" Yeah! I have 4 friends who are engaged now, and two are getting married pretty soon! and adding to that list one of my friends also got married like right after high school? she has kid now! The bad thing, is that they're all looking up at me now, especially that I'm graduating soon, which coming from a middle-eastern background means that I'm officially eligible for marriage. Marriage. That's a big word. Rhymes with Responsibility, hard work, maturity, and of course not forgetting love. Thankfully, I have parents who are open-minded enough to give me space to finish what I plan on doing before getting "committed". Don't get me wrong, I don't find getting married a bad idea obviously, but there is more in to it than love and sex. Also, another good thing about my parents is that they completely understand my view on marriage when it comes to the Arab society; that is I'm definitely not going to get married to a) one of my cousins b) strangers who knock on doors to check if there are girls for marriage. When it comes to getting committed, I'd rather know the person before hand, be friends at first, then if there is "something" there we can take it up a notch till we get to the engagement/marriage level.

Now some people think that's "haram", and you shouldn't be talking to guys in the first place and blah blah blah.. See my definition of haram is physical contact, making out, smooching, sex; you get the idea. My philosophy is, if the guy could be a potential, then I'll build a bridge, but running after guys and trying to befriend them? No, thank you. We all know where the other part of their brain is, and I don't want to tire myself or get in to trouble for a worthless reason.

This whole talk about jobs, marriage and growing up is scaring me. I admit. I know its really not as easy as it looks like. (like duh!) I just hope I'll reach a point in my life, where I'll look back and smile. Be satisfied. Happy. Proud of myself. One can only hope and pray...